I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
