what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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