I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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