one might say we're banned from that church
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
