i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
be right there i have to get my cape
he had hair everywhere except his balls
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
