8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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