she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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