This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
