and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
