we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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