Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I just found puke in my bra..
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
