first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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