he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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