tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Everything about him screamed your future.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
