shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
