i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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