Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
