i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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