you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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