hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Randomize
