Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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