Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
