you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
