yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
