I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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