i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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