im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
