I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
