So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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