i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
