whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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