If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize