i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Randomize
