Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
