margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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