My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
