Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
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