Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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