I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
