pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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