My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
send nudes
from the living room?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
