help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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