Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
