it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize