did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
