Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
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