in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
