so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
