im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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