Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
