how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
