Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
