last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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