I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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