dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Randomize