Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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