don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
