That reminds me...we need to get swords
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
