hell yes lets make some ravioli
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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