He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize