Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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