i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
