didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
honey bunches of taint.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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