Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize