She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
