Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
