I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
