she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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