i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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