My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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